Climate Casanova: Anti-Keystone activist looking for love in nation’s capital this weekend

By   /   February 15, 2013  /   No Comments

PIPELINE LOVIN’: The Keystone isn’t the only pipeline on one global warming activist’s mind this weekend.

By Dustin Hurst |

IDAHO FALLS, IDAHO – Perhaps the Keystone XL isn’t the only pipeline some protesters will have on the mind this weekend as environmentalists descend on Washington, D.C., to rally against the project.

Plenty of ire and venom will freely flow on the National Mall this weekend in an event organized by and the Sierra Club, but at least one fellow is looking for just the opposite: A romantic and intimate encounter, to be shared with a fellow activist, of course.

Check out this ad from the Washington, D.C. Craigslist site:

Sounds cozy, eh? While this fellow sounds like someone who hates global warming, he doesn’t mind a little temperature increase between the sheets to complement his activism.

One can only imagine how this encounter might go. An intellectual, a masseuse and a poet? The romantic possibilities are deliciously endless.

Maybe he’ll kick things off by reading a little global warming poetry, a real thing that actually exists. Here are a couple lines this climate casanova might use to enflame his newfound lover’s desires:

One thin September soon
A floating continent disappears
In midnight sun

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea
Neptune’s bones dissolve

Snow glides from the mountain
Ice fathers floods for a season
A hard rain comes quickly

Then dirt is parched
Kindling is placed in the forest
For the lightning’s celebration

Pure passion. Can you feel it? Those lines come from the sexiest climate lover of all, Al Gore.

Next, this Romeo of rallies might serenade his lady friend with song. Might we suggest something from the King of Pop, circa 1995?:


Things are really cooking up now, but no polar bears will die from this heat wave. The only thing melting is her heart.

Perhaps he might want to have some gifts ready when she arrives at his love nest. lists here a number of eco-friendly lingerie options, including some undies woven from organic cotton, recycled nylon and recycled polyester. That might light her fire.

Of course, she might also prefer a sensual pair of bamboo panties, on sale over at

As any guy with game knows, chocolates are a quick way to her heart – and her love. This fellow’s in luck there, too. Greenopolis boasts a nice assortment of the some of the best eco-friendly treats, including totally organic chocolates that ships in a box of recycled paper.

When that important moment arrives, he might want to have some Glyde condoms on the nightstand. Glyde, as everyone knows, is the world’s only certified ethical and vegan brand condom, produced with natural plant ingredients.

A word of warning, though, if things go awry: Disposable diapers are a huge no-no for the environment, so prepare for cloth diapers if there’s an accident.

Contact: or @dustinhurst via Twitter.


Dustin is a contributor to and news director for in Boise, Idaho. His work has been featured by Reason,, Fox News, the Washington Examiner, the Spokesman Review and Public Sector Inc., among others. Steve Forbes also tweeted one of Dustin's stories one time.